Why Being Performative Will Never Fulfill You

By: Valentina Arguelles

Being performative equates to not being yourself. You are lying to yourself and to your own identity: it is an act of self-betrayal. You are pleasing an audience, rather than fulfilling yourself.

I think there is a blurred line between being influenced and being performative. As we all know, social media influencers are on a constant upbringing of influencing you on the next product to use, on the next pilates class to try out, on the next clothing piece you should buy. Influence can be harmless, even inspiring. But performance begins when inspiration disguises itself as imitation, when choices are no longer yours. Over time, it becomes harder to tell whether you are choosing something because it resonates with you, or because it will translate well on a screen.

This raises a very necessary question: who are you when you are not performing? Who are you when there is no audience, no validation, no expectation to be digestible? Authenticity exists in that stillness where decisions are made by instinct, not presentation. Performance depends on being seen. Authenticity exists without witnesses. The most creative act is the act of creating yourself: this is where authenticity lies. I always believe one should think themselves as a museum. You are made up of what you have lived, what you have loved, the places you have traveled, the stories that stayed with you. You are a museum of everything you have loved. Unlike curated museums designed for visitors, the self is not meant to be arranged for consumption. Not every exhibit needs to be explained. Not every part needs to be admired. Some things exist simply because they mattered to you. Authenticity begins the moment you stop asking how you are perceived and start asking whether what you are becoming truly belongs to you.

— Clarice Lispector

“It is inside myself that I must create someone who will understand.”

Photo Braxton Apana